Engagement Ring Talk

MightyBargainHunter writes about Prosper loans for engagement rings.

I have read a few of the personal finance blogs that mentioned Prosper so I went to check it out. It is read as “the online marketplace for people to people lending.”

But that’s neither here nor there – I wanted to talk about going into debt for a wedding.

When we got married it was a spur of the moment thing. We were engaged for a week and ended up eloping. That wasn’t the original plan – it just happened.

He had a set of wedding bands with him but no engagement ring. He intended to buy an engagement ring and talked to his friends’ dad about it. The dad said something along the lines of an engagement ring doesn’t show her how much you love her, it’s just a wasted debt, etc. I admit when he first told me I was a little hurt – mostly because he didn’t talk to me about it, he just accepted what the dad told him.

Anyway, he had a set of rings and mine didn’t fit so he got it resized – but when we decided to elope, they weren’t done yet. So we bought a different set of rings and got married with those. Hahaha I remember we bought the rings at the store in the mall – the crowded, overpriced because it was a week before Christmas mall.

Our getting married cost less then $100 – I think it was $40 for the license and then $50 for the guy to marry us. Obviously not including the two sets of rings we have. (Had – I lost mine a couple of years ago :( It is in the front yard at my house in WA, somewhere.)

Anyway – after all of that – I really don’t understand going into debt to get married. Remember when MTV did that one wedding show where that couple from…Brooklyn? got married? They spent a ton of money and then got a half a ton in cash gifts so even after getting gifts, they were in debt for a party.

I understand celebrating. I understanding wanting to celebrate with your friends and family.

I don’t understand going into debt to do that. Though I was mildly hurt about not getting an engagement ring – it wasn’t because I didn’t get a ring – it was because he talked to someone else about it. We started out with no debt because of his bonus paying off the $2k credit card (or even less). I suppose we could have spent a little money on a wedding and been okay because we wouldn’t have spent tens of thousands.

But the idea of going into debt at the start of a new relationship. Debt/money is already an issue in relationships – why start out having to pay off for a party?

And I do have a diamond ring now. We have two kids – 5 and 3 years old – not too long before I had the three year old DH decided I needed a diamond. He felt bad about not giving me one and yes we have talked about my feelings about not talking to me. I said we’ve been married all this time, I don’t need an engagement ring. His response was that I was getting a diamond and so I should pick one out. It was super inexpensive, $600 if I remember right.

But he gave it to me and said “Thank you for having my children.” (all together now….”aawwww”)

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